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If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated…but can’t pronounce it.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I still like going into Burger King and ordering a McWhopper and a McFry.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
The Eskimo´s allegedly have 52 words for snow. I have several words for snow also!