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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
says, I am not an alcoholic. I am a social drinker. Problem is, I socialize too much!
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there.
That moment when you run into a spider web and suddenly become a karate master.
Called AA by mistake. Those drunks can`t change a tire for sh*t.
I can´t wait for summer. One of my highlights of summer is talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.
I spend more time looking in the fridge than I actually do eating.
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!