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Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
Hello? HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet but you sent me a printer.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
I`ve been single for a while and I have to say, it`s going very well. Like... It`s working out. I think I`m the one.