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At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
A simple "good morning beautiful" text could make any girl smile for the whole day. ..but knocking on the bathroom window first to ask her number sort of ruins it for some reason.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
I`m lost, no wait..... Yep, lost for sure
You don`t look like 200 likes in person
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
Still don`t understand why you can`t end a company-wide email with, `Later b*tches.`
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
The difference between beer and your opinion is that I asked for a beer.
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce