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Which wine goes best with more wine?
is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
"May the 4th" be with you!
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
The skinny girl inside me once tried to come out. I shut that b*tch up with a cupcake
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.