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Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
The lack of a secret handshake makes me question the strength of our friendship.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
I followed my heart...Now I`m at the liquor store.
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today, or flash them your boobs...... Strangers love boobs!
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.