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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
In my most recent survey,,, four out of five women talked crap about the fifth one whenever she was out of earshot.
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
When I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say,, “You’re in charge while I’m gone.”
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.