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I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
"Should I add more liquor?" is the most ridiculous question I`ve ever been asked.
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
Liquor makes me happy, You ..... not so much.
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
I`m often a little confused when people call me insane because, to be honest, I`m still just warming up.
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
Have you ever wondered if Dora is smuggling drugs in her backpack?
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.