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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
I wish I could veto MY bills.
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
My internet is so slow, it`s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.