Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
I`d offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
If the TV show "Cops" has taught me anything, it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces....... they always seem to attract trouble.......
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.