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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I`ll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?