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At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again, if you drive a Nissan but don`t call it Liam then what is even the point of you
It`s fun to leave a note on the windshield of an expensive car saying sorry I smashed it, but I fixed it so well that you can`t tell.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?
No Grandma, "sausage fest" is not a new special breakfast at IHOP
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.