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Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,400 hours. Roughly the same as one Monday on earth feels.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Love is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"