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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I`m fat and can`t run for more than 2 minutes.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Example of the difference between `You`re`and `Your`: 1. "You`re nuts" = "You are nuts" 2. "Your nuts" = "What about my nuts?"
May have put up a few too many Christmas lights. A 747 just landed in the backyard.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?