Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Maybe I`m the good kind of fat like an avocado.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
Have you ever realized that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long?
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*