Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
I`m getting older but I still have my moments...though I don`t always remember where I put them
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it`s AM. Google thinks I`ve got my life together.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.