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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
The 21st century. When deleting history is more important than making it.
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
My wife’s cooking brings a whole new meaning to.. eat sh!t and die.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.