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Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can´t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
I wish I was as skinny as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Being in the doghouse isn`t so bad if there`s enough beer in the bowl.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?