Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Exercise? More like extra fries.
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
I wonder how many people die each year from lifeguards running in slow motion?
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
Does running away from your problems count as exercising? If it is, then I`m one hell of a fitness freak
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
I fake my lol`s