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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
Only 3 things can make me run. When someone yells, "Fire", "Free beer" or "The free beer is on fire”
After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
"Someday, your phone will cost more than your computer" - said no one ever.