Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
It`s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your sh!t together, every other vegetable.
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
If monogamy is sex with only one person, what is origami?
After I die, there are some people Iām going to haunt the sh!t out of.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
We should be nicer to old people. When they walked uphill both ways in the snow they had to do it without an internet connection too.
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...