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MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Give a fish some bread and he`ll eat for a day. Teach a fish to be a flying piranha and he`ll eat for a lifetime.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
…and for my next trick, I will pull this dryer sheet out of my sleeve!
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.