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Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
Walmart...because going to Target requires identity theft protection and a shower.