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A synonym is a word you use when you can`t remember how to spell the other word.
3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
Why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it
I just peed so hard that I laughed a little.
I just read that Lindsay Lohan is headed for rehab. It`s like 2008 all over again. Or 2009. Or 2010. Or 2011. Or 2012
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
If a man doesn`t drink when he`s living, how in the hell can he drink when he`s dead?
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.