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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Tomorrow is International "Cook a Steak and Then Throw It to a Seagull" Day. Get involved. Don`t question it.
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
I asked my girlfriend if she was ok with me buying her a ring. She said "nothing would make me happier!" So I got her nothing.
Some people should be very grateful I don`t have mob connections.
Please don`t post that political joke you just came up with. . . it really wasn`t that funny to begin with. Thanks for understanding. -the rest of us
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
Always believe a woman when she says: “You don`t want to know!”
and alcohol are now friends.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...