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Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
I`m "keeps a pair of underwear in the glove box because I don`t trust my farts anymore" years old.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic