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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Playing Frisbee with a five year old is amazingly similar to just running after a Frisbee.
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
Been waiting at the pub for my wife to pick me up for hours now. How long does it take to have a baby, for Christs sake.
Sleep feels the way pizza tastes.
You look like I need another drink
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Why do people say ``I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
I just wanna be the reason your doctor puts you on a new medication.
There`s a thin line between "I should write a status about that" and "I should talk to my therapist about that"....