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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
I can`t believe I was late for work tomorrow..
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
Peeing in the sink is a great time saver: no lifting the seat, no flush, sink is right there to wash hands jk I don`t wash my hands.
Unless your name is β€œGoogle”, stop acting as if you know everything!
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.