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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?