Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the heck.
Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I`m not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
People who describe things as "better than sex" are obviously having the wrong kind of sex.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy