Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
I stick pins and needles in the people I don`t like because can`t afford voodoo dolls.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
Checked a lot off my thought-about-doing-today list.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
The majority of Americans support sending Congress to Syria.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
So apparently the security guard at Kroger didn`t believe that life gave me that lemon.
Note to self: you never read these notes so stop writing them.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”