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Iām beginning to believe that successful relationships come down to Netflix compatibility.
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
Can`t afford P90X or INSANITY workout videos? Go find a wasp nest and slap the sh!t out of it. Never knew I could shadow box,bicycle kick,and twirl while floating.
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
I`m tired of things costing money
I hope that man who was walking in memphis found out the way he really felt
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
Why are police men so strong? Because they hold up traffic.
The light does go out in the fridge ... Now I have to wait for someone to let me out.
Some families are like Snickers Bars. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts!
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session