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Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
When you’re old, my kids will be in charge. I’m so, so sorry.
People who wait 4 hours to reply to my text with "lol" should be shot.
My doctor is getting really tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
I can catch a speeding bullet- only once.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.