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If I won the lottery, I could make a whole lotta people miserable
When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
Sometimes I wish you could ask the pharmacist to "make it a double".
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
I`m so hot I stalk myself ;)
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
I saw a spider in my bathtub. So I took a tissue and very, very carefully, burned the house down.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.