Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of Alcohol
have you ever been like "what`s the day today? ... no i mean the like the number".
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Life Tip: Tell your guests your house was just broken into and fake cry, they will clean it for free!
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I`m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.