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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Without the sanctity of marriage there wouldn`t be job security for divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.