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I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
If you make something easier for yourself they call you lazy. If you make something easier for everyone else they call you a genius.
It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Pumpkin for sale. Slightly used
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
Iām just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
I had lunch with a chess player yesterday. It took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.