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According to my neighborโ€™s journal, I have boundary issues.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I canโ€™t believe that all these โ€œsingle ladies in my areaโ€ want to meet me, must be due to all the โ€œfree Ipadsโ€ Iโ€™ve been winning.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Someone once told me, โ€œGO FOR BROKEโ€ !! Iโ€™m happy to report that I succeededโ€ฆ
Tieam... problem solved