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According to my neighborโs journal, I have boundary issues.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Missed the gym yesterday.... That makes 11 years in a row.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
Often, when I am reading a good book I stop and thank my teacher. Well, I used to. Until she got that restraining order.
You don`t know broke until you`ve rinsed off a paper plate.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I canโt believe that all these โsingle ladies in my areaโ want to meet me, must be due to all the โfree Ipadsโ Iโve been winning.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Someone once told me, โGO FOR BROKEโ !! Iโm happy to report that I succeededโฆ
Tieam... problem solved