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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.
Have you ever just sat there and realized how weird you are?
The police never think its as funny as you do.
The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
I`ll be there in a second I just gotta finish writing this letter of apology to a club owner for tearing up his dance floor last night..
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
When your feeling down, I will be there to feel you up. ;)
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping. Unfortunately it cost me my YMCA membership.