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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
For all the parents with kids starting school I just want to say congratulations. You made it through another summer without killing your children!! I am proud of you all!!
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.