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I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
If a woman asks if you "notice anything new" tell her "I do, your beauty surprises me every day." Then continue thinking about velociraptors
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re ignorant and make bad decisions.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.