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Vodka is just amazing water.
They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
Just saw 2 homeless guys hitting eachother with cardboard... PILLOW FIGHT!
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Please don`t make me choose between you and porn.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"