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Jesus is coming.... look busy
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren’t there Starbucks pumpkin spice latte trucks in the winter?
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
This weekends forecast shows a 0% chance of cooking or cleaning, with a good chance of laying around in my pajamas.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
and alcohol are now friends.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
I`ll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I`ll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can`t reach the remote.