Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
My car is so old the high beam switch is on the floor...
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.