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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
I`m going to get one of those "My Family" stick figure decals for the back of my car. It`s going to be me, a bottle of whiskey, and a pizza.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
Every shape I had to learn above octagon was just a total fu*king waste of time.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
Don’t bother looking up “impose.” It’s next to impossible.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.