Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
Remember, pretty much all of the “tough guys” you see on TV and movies were theater majors in college.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Sometimes Google should just come back with an answer that says, `Trust me, you don`t want to know.`
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
I’m not in denial, I’m just selective about the reality I choose to accept :)
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.