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It`s called "Biscotti" because nobody would buy "chocolate covered croutons".
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.
When I come home 4 the holidays I throw $40 on the table & say "Look we`re keeping the thermostat at 75, and we`re turning on some lights."
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
All this time I thought Bi-Polar was a big white bear with no sexual preference.
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.