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That awkward moment when you give the same Hallmark card two years in a row.
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)