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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
This morning I woke up to a surprise BJ. Thats the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
I don`t understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents but you don`t see me change my status to "orphan."
If I agreed with you we´d both be wrong.
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, smarter and a better dancer. I saw the video, we need to talk.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever...
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.