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The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
Aren`t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know...The birth of Santa
I always keep a spare pair of shoes at work that I change into so people don`t know it`s me when I`m taking a dump.
Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
"keep moving.....nothing to see here"
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.