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At a four way stop, it`s obvious that the vehicle bearing the most duct tape goes first.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be "doesn`t know how to follow directions."
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
Some people should use a glue stick for lip balm
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
I`ve decided to start taking more supplements: calcium pills for my bones, ginkgo pills for my memory, milk thistle for my liver, ginkgo pills for my memory...
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.