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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
Honk if you are reading this.
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
There’s literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Save electricity! Would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It`s not working. I cant take it anymore, I`m going to moms" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one...
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?