Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
I hate when I´m laughing & my a$$ falls off.
That awkward moment for a guy when he`s at a urinal stall and another guy takes the stall right next to him when there`s plenty of other perfectly good stalls farther away..
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google what they call you when it ends badly
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.