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While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
I haven`t been drinking. I know what day it is. I didn`t lose my pants. This might be my car. I know how to drive. -Lies I`ve told to cops.
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
Be careful who you call friends. I`d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
I`d publish my autobiography but it`s just a bunch of liquor stained pages filled with doodles, and rants about stupid people.
If you can`t handle your alcohol I would gladly help you out
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
I was worried my notifications had stopped working but luckily Iām just unpopular.