Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
CPR is the human version of blowing in to a video game cartridge hoping it`ll work again.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....