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My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
I dreamt I was you..I hated myself. Luckily I woke up..woah that was close.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
I don`t need an excuse to drink, but thank you for giving me one.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
I hate to call it "one night stands"... I prefer the term "auditions"
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.