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If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
I like them big and fake. ~Me talking about Christmas trees
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
You really can`t say your laundry is done unless you are completely naked
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
I fell asleep at the wheel smh, time to turn Mario Kart off and go to bed.
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
Be nice to people on your way up so they won’t get suspicious when you’re rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.