Daily Silly Status

Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...

I didn’t sign up for the 401k at work, because there’s no way I can run that far.

If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss

I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you

My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.

This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.

Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."

Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

Never hire an Electrician with no eyebrows

If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.

I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.

If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...

Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.

Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.

I am a gentleman, based on the clubs I go to.