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Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
You`ve reached the limitations of my medications.
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
Theirye’re, problem solved.
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eegs
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what I’m doing.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.