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You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
My wife was afraid of the dark......then she saw me naked.........now she is afraid of the light.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
A fun thing to do when leaving the Zoo, is too start frantically running and yelling "OMG they`ve all escaped!"
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Saw these three things on a corner, in this order: Liquor store, gun store, bank. What could possibly go wrong with that?
Just think, there is an entire generation of idiots who will wonder: "Why did they have a hashtag button on landline phones?"
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.