Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, I’m forty. I have one.
I don’t know if I have a stalker, but if I do, could you drop off some milk. Thanks.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
This recliner and I go way back.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
I love you Mario, but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of.
Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s can shorten it
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks