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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
If I drove a UPS truck there’s a 100% chance I would fall out of the truck when I turned corners.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
*calling pizza place* "Hello?" Your pizza tastes like cardboard "Are you sure you`re not eating the box again?" *long pause* *click*
I bought a screwdriver bit for my electric drill. It`s useful for converting ordinary phillips screws into non removable screws.