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No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
No, I would not like to join your exclusive membership rewards club. I’m buying a sandwich.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
I wish Facebook wasn`t the only place I could block people from my life.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.