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I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
“The darndest things.” -kids
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
Question everything...Or should you?
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?