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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Just used the "f word" over on FB so I`m waiting for the villagers with their torches, axes, whatever those people use.
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
If jail isn`t supposed to be fun, why do they get bunk beds?
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
Dear YouTube, I will always “Skip this ad.”
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, “It’s okay, I think we lost him.”
I sometimes check my blocklist to see how my prisoners are doing
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are