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The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
3 shots of vodka can erase 8 hours of rage in 15 minutes. That’s all the math you really need to know.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That’s why most women wear makeup and most men lie.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?