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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
I don`t want to set the world on fire........just you.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
An elderly woman at an ATM asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Yup, she needs a walker.
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.