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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
If we start calling it `potato juice`, Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT?
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
Whenever I drive past the psychic’s empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...